As we open our Bible, let us open our hearts and minds as we read His word and say it as our prayer in this lesson.
“The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?”
Jeremiah 17:9 KJV
“Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
Psalms 139:23-24 KJV.  
“Lead me in thy truth, and teach me: for thou art the God of my salvation; on thee do I wait all the day.”  
Psalms 25:5 KJV. 
“Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness.”
Psalms 143:10 KJV.
Thank you, God, for your word! In Jesus Name, Amen

Have you ever thought, “They did that on purpose”, then later find out that you were wrong?  Or approached someone about something that you saw and took it one way, and everyone else seeing the same thing, took it another way.  Then you think to yourself “Why did I think that?”  I am so ashamed.   What would cause me to jump to such conclusions?  How come I seem to be struggling in this area?  

This has happened to me. Then, when I took the time to examine my heart, I came to understand that the reason I jumped to the wrong conclusion was I had developed unhealthy feelings and attitudes, allowing them to take root in my heart and it messed with my perception.  I allowed things in my life to become more important than taking the time to do some deep heart-cleaning.  I want you to realize that I was still praying and reading my Bible every day, but I failed to focus my mind to think deeply. I had become so busy that my devotions had become a ritual with no mental consideration of application. When I finally realized this, I made changes in my schedule and set about reading my bible, telling God I was sorry for a long list of nasty thoughts.  It is better to just get rid of it!  The longer you try to carry the feelings around, the heavier they become. I felt so much better and my perception was restored to God’s perception.

The problem was not what others said or did, it was how I took it that made the difference.  I know… I understand that we all have our reasons when it comes to our differences and the way we interpret what is being said. But we need to understand that very concept, that everybody is different and we must be careful how we say or present thoughts to others.  Also, our personality plays a great deal in how we communicate.  Some people get more excited than others (if my friends are reading this, tell me in the comments below if that is me) and use more voice inflection or hand gestures.  People that tend to be excitable, if they are not careful, can come across angry or overwhelming to others who are quiet or more reserved, especially if the friendship is new and there is no past experiences to draw conclusions from. I met a wonderful person a few years back and she was quite loud (and somewhat offensive I thought). As I got to know her and be around her more often, I came to understand and appreciate our differences and really admire her.  I was no longer offended by her antics, but appreciated her for who she was and not what I thought she should be. She had no idea I felt that way (I am so glad) and our friendship has matured beautifully. I found out that in many ways we believe the same, just express it differently.

When I take the time to search my heart on a daily basis using the Holy Bible, it is easy to have purity in my thoughts towards others. I am not responsible for how others act toward me, but I am responsible to God for how I act and react. This understanding and ownership of one’s actions eliminates drama!  Otherwise, we are constantly taking offense and jumping to conclusions that put us in a boxing mode with words.  When we disrespect others, it is often because we do not respect ourselves.  We have to love ourselves to love others, and to respect ourselves to respect others.  

“For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.” Galatians 5:14 KJV

The next thing that we need to do is bring our mind back into alignment with how God tells us to think.  “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” Philippians 4:8 KJV

Paul writes in Philippians, the 4th chapter, to “...stand fast (firm) in the Lord”; and to help one another especially those that labor in the gospel, helping others. Then Paul writes for us to rejoice and live a life of moderation unto all men for the Lord is near. We are to let our prayer and supplication (to plead humbly before God) with the spirit of thanksgiving be made known unto God, and when we do, the peace of God will be the end result!

The equation is: Stand + help + rejoice + live moderately + pray with thanksgiving to God = peace of God in hearts and minds.  

It is only then that Paul tells us in Philippians 4:8 that we are to focus our thoughts and actions on what is true, honest, just, pure, lovely, good report; if there be any virtue (noun meaning quality or practice of moral excellence or righteousness, faith, hope and charity), if there be any praise, focus on that!

To wrap it all up:

            1.). Admit we do not know our own heart, only God does.
            2.). Using scripture, search our hearts.
            3.). Clean it out!  Ask God for forgiveness, naming the ugly stuff like hatred, judging, 
                  jealously etc.
            4.)  Love your neighbor as yourself.
            5.)  Help others.
            6.). Focus on true, honest, just, pure, lovely...
            7.). Live thankfully.

“If there be therefore any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any bowels and mercies, Fulfil ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:” Philippians 2:1-5 KJV

Together in Christ, we can make a difference!

*In this lesson, I am not referring to people in abusive relationships…that is a whole different matter for another time.  I am referring to relationships in the work place, families or any group function.   

Welcome to LifestyleOfPurity.com!  My name is Bonnie Smith and I am in pursuit of a Lifestyle of purity.  I have been on this journey for over 47 years and have decided it is time to share and extend an open invitation to you to join me on this journey.  I get calls, questions, texts, and even emails, from people asking for my “advice” or to “share my knowledge” (and that is mainly from experiences, discovery, or years of continual studying) on a wide variety of subjects.  The topics range from relationships to “How to..”, or just asking for my notes after speaking at a specific engagement or conference.  Whatever the request is, I can only do so much and reach so many before my life becomes chaotic and undisciplined, thereby decreasing my study time greatly.  A lack of discipline erodes a Lifestyle Of Purity.  I have by no means arrived at the perfection of a Lifestyle Of Purity (though I have grown greatly) and there are many areas in my life I still need improvement.  So, gathering up my notes and journals I will share with you thoughts, ideas, recipes, prayers and correspondence centering around the topic of maintaining a “Lifestyle Of Purity”.  I am also encouraging you to keep a journal, writing down your thoughts and experiences.  You have a well of knowledge to share with others!  I would love to hear from you!  You can write to me at [email protected]

In pursuing purity, my primary “go-to” source is the Holy Bible!  Psalms 33:4-5 “For the word of the Lord is right; and all his works are done in truth. He loveth righteousness and judgment: the earth is full of the goodness of the Lord.” (KJV)  No other book or word written should contradict the Holy Bible.  All research, study and lifestyles should be measured by God’s words.  He desires us to obtain knowledge and wisdom.  Proverbs 2:1-12;  “My son, if thou wilt receive my words, and hide my commandments with thee;  2 So that thou incline thine ear unto wisdom, and apply thine heart to understanding;  3 Yea, if thou criest after knowledge, and liftest up thy voice for understanding;  4 If thou seekest her as silver, and searchest for her as for hid treasures;  5 Then shalt thou understand the fear of the Lord, and find the knowledge of God.  6 For the Lord giveth wisdom: out of his mouth cometh knowledge and understanding.  7 He layeth up sound wisdom for the righteous: he is a buckler to them that walk uprightly.  8 He keepeth the paths of judgment, and preserveth the way of his saints.  9 Then shalt thou understand righteousness, and judgment, and equity; yea, every good path. 10 When wisdom entereth into thine heart, and knowledge is pleasant unto thy soul; 11 Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee: 12 To deliver thee from the way of the evil man, from the man that speaketh froward things;” (KJV)

Set a specific time every day to invest in yourself.  Pray for your eyes to be open to truth and that the word of God will be planted deep in your heart and mind as you seek a closer walk with Him.  With your Bible, journal, pen & paper (tools used to record what’s learned), pray while documenting as the Holy Spirit leads your thoughts.  When we open our hearts to  receive His Word, with an earnest desire to obey His commandments, inclining our ear to wisdom and applying our heart to understanding, purity will happen.  By studying and praying, we will understand the fear of the Lord, finding knowledge and receiving wisdom from Him.

At the end of each day, take time to reflect on your day, thanking God and having a thankful heart towards others.  Incorporate on a weekly basis writing at least 3 emails, cards or texts of encouragement to different individuals. This does not have to be lengthy - just a few short words or sentences. In doing this act of kindness you will experience strength and encouragement yourself.

My desire for this website is to share thoughts, ideas and studies on living a lifestyle of purity. I will be covering topics about holiness and Godly living, but also about healthy eating, cooking, stewardship, ethics, etc. - a total Proverbs 31 Woman of God that radiates purity. I will even be doing book reviews of excellent books already available. Please check out my future blogs at LifestyleOfPurity.com and receive a nugget of purity that will enhance your growth in Christ.